Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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