Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
