I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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