i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
