Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
