I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize