hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
