Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The uberlube is also flammable
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
