i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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