put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
