508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
