Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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