What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
