Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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