bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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