oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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