Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
