I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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