I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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