THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
