return my video game
I wish I only lived at night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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