Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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