Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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