Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize