I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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