lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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