It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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