i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
