have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
