I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize