...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
