You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
