Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
