well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
