I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
