why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize