I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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