I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
