It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging