so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER