I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it