Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me