normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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