I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
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$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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