genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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