somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
