You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You are a genius and a whore.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
