i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
