It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
