You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
