I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
