I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
