You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
