She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
