if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
