fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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