I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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