I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just invented taco cereal.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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