we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have post one night stand depression
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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