Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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