i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
