She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
