who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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