So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
