Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
